getting used to a different life

When one has a loved one experience a life changing medical episode, we tend to retreat back into ourselves, out of fear, insecurity and all around confusion. I decided that although I want to do that some days, the retreating part, I am going to learn how to be brave in this world.

I am not going to run away from worry or fear, from confusion or impatience for what is. I am going to to try and wake up every day and remind myself that although my family has had a scare, we are still here, together, trying to figure it out. So I must try and do what I encourage all of you do to, be yourself, feel everything, love fully, live in your own skin. Don't do it for me, or your friends, or because you think you have to.

I am going to get through sadness and grief for what is or what was, and in order to that I have to face my fear of loss. We can never get back what is truly lost whether it be love, or friendship, children, or family, once it is gone it is gone. But we have not died with those things we loved, we are still here on this great planet.

So let our journey continue. I think the reason we don't know how to live in our own skin is because we use the skin to hide in, as a facade, to fool ourselves into thinking none sees us for who we really are. Let's use the skin as an integral part of who we are. Let THAT be the first thing people see, not the last.

Let this be the first day that you, my reader, my friend, my family member, live the life you are supposed to live. Don't think I know of what I am suggesting, I am walking this path beside you still trying to figure it out......